Day #10 of 21 Days to Disciplined Writing


From Camari Carter-Hawkins

Good Morning Carol Anne!

Have you ever looked back on your life and truly missed the good times, the good ole days? Many times, when we reflect so much on the "good ‘ol days," we can often feel as if those days were much better than the ones we live in today.

Today, I want you to write about why this present time is a "good ‘ol day." Why is today, this year, this season, much better than years prior?

Write about that.

Cheers to today being a good ole day.

Camari

#21DDW

I love this prompt. Before I begin, this is just another reminder that the writing we are doing for this #21 Day challenge is off the cuff, not edited, mostly heart or instant responses. It is not meant to be “literature.” Thanks again for understanding. Here it goes:

This is my year! I’m not even kidding. This is my time.

For many years of my life I felt like I was taking a back seat in the world. I didn’t know who I was or where I was going. I was what one might call “troubled.” Things were tough for me as a kid, as it was for many of us, and I came out of the “family soup” feeling lost and unsure. It has taken me until now to feel fully and completely whole and ready to live in the world.

Things that show up for me are almost silly, probably the things you may know by heart, but for me they are knew and thrilling. For example, I am stable. I have lived in the same place for the last seven years and for the first time in my life I don’t plan on moving. I mean something crazy could happen that might make me move but I don’t plan on it anytime soon. I like where I live. I like the paths I drive to and from my home. I like the way things look and feel where I live. I feel secure and happy. I walk my dog several times a day and meet my neighbors and feel like I have a big group of friends. Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood for old folks. The grocery store is so close I could walk to it or ride my bike. Come to think of it, maybe I will start doing that. But I feel delightfully happy and feel no itch to move along. I do simple things like run errands. I know where the recycle place is and I have two buckets outside of my door for paid and not paid recycle. I have a dry cleaners I like to go to that is right next to the Trader Joe’s. I have theatres I like to go to and I have a small group of friends whom I go to live theatre with. I have a doctor whom I see as needed and a dentist, who I will probably change. I don’t really care for her. But in most every way I feel secure and settled and content. This is a marvelous time of life for me.

I am a writer. I never thought I would get to use that moniker but today I do. I started all over again with a marvelous writing instructor who is local and now I have a more expanded group in Los Angeles with whom I work with more extensively. I also recently joined a writing group that meets about 3 minutes from my home. I think they will become my heart. We meet weekly and critique one another in the most nurturing ways. We hold one another’s hearts with loving kindness and offer delicious feedback. It is so joyful. I love being with them and they with me.

This week I was offered an opportunity to teach creative writing. I have been a teacher in some fashion or another throughout my life. I am grateful for this new opportunity and will embrace it with all I have. I also think I may have received a grant from a local non-profit. I have a publishing contract for a book of short stories and I am working on finishing the novel that will also get a publishing contract, I am sure. Everything in my writing life is falling in place. I am truly fortunate.

I also am fortunate that my daughter decided to have a child. First of all, she and I have the best relationship ever. One I could only have dreamed of. My other daughter is suffering. I pray for her every day knowing she will get through this rough time. But back to my grand. She is the light of my life. She is bright and sweet and smart and such a happy, happy child. She was here for a week this last month and I will get to see her the end of the month, for my birthday week. What Bella Bambina has done is open me in a way I could not imagine. People say that they are crazy in love with their grandbabies and now I know why. She has pulled the heart strings of my life to such a degree that I feel like I have a new lease on life. How fortunate am I to have this little one inject such “power and beauty”, the two magical elements in any work of art, into my life.

Don’t let me forget my two pooches. I am not, I don’t think, that fussy lady who puts clothes on her pooch. But I am that lady who cares deeply for her pets and ensures their health and well-being. One of my pooches is 4 pounds and 13 years old. She has been ill lately. She has renal insufficiency and I dutifully take her to the vet so she can get weekly subcutaneous infusions of fluids. It is the least I can do and I am willing to do it. The other is 9 pounds and 6 ½ years old. They are both rescues and my big boy, Davis, is the best pooch ever. I just adopted him a few months ago and he is settling in easily and happily. No untoward behaviors. Just a bucket of love.

Oh, and my health is good. I had colon cancer about 9 years ago and I have been cancer free since then. I have an auto-immune disease and since I changed my diet and my thinking I have been almost symptom free. There are others with this disease whose lives are completely and unequivocally unmanageable. They live in pain and despair, taking body altering drugs. I have so much compassion for them. Because I am doing so well it makes me feel enormous gratitude. Almost like I dodged a bullet. I do a happy dance inside of me with appreciation for my health.

This is the best time of my life. I will look back on it, perched on my deathbed, knowing that I lived the last 30 years of my life the best I possibly could, no regrets, no bucket list unchecked, no needs gone unfulfilled. I would say I feel lucky, which I do, but honestly, I worked hard for this and I deserve it.

Amen sista!

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