Write non-stop for 5 minutes answering these questions.
What am I really afraid of? Where do these feelings come from? Am I associating them with past failures? Am I comparing myself to people on the gram, Facebook, at work, etc? Are my expectations realistic based on my abilities? (Write open and honest as possible) My answers:
1. My biggest fear is that I will fail myself. I have had a pattern of self failure in the past and I don’t want to repeat that.
2. I am afraid no one will like my work. I don’t really understand the publishing marketplace and to self-pedal my work is time consuming and debilitating. As someone said in my group yesterday “I just want to write and have someone else market it.”
3. I’m afraid of judgment. Though I wrote a beautiful manifesto yesterday, I remain susceptible to the judgments of others.
4. I am not a trained writer. I make a lot of mistakes.
5. I am a new “older” writer. My points of view may be outdated and I may not know it.
Make fear a liar. Write down the reason why each excuse is false. Crush the lie fear is throwing at you.
Answers to my biggest fears:
1. Failing myself: I think just saying this out loud is giving me a sense of responsibility and assuredness. Also, I set myself up with all kinds of “requirements” so I will write. Joining this 21-day challenge. Joining a writer’s group. Talking about my work so others are anticipating and asking me about my work. Applying for writing grants and fellowships. I am doing as much as I can to keep myself on task so that the writing continues and I not fail myself.
2. No one will like my work: I cannot tell you the countless numbers of times folks have said how much they enjoy my work. I have been compared to countless professional writers regarding my use of language and how people feel when they read my work. One person said they particularly enjoy when I read my work out loud. I am just fine.
3. I am fearful of other’s judgements: What I think is important is for me to notice my own judgements of me. These lies I have shared are simply the dark voices in my own head shouting against the inside of my skull. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
4. I am not a trained writer: I have had a lot of workshops and classes and writing groups to learn from. And I have been invited to participate in various events based on my writing ability. I do have a lot to learn but not enough to hold me back.
5. I am a new, older writer: “I am a late bloomer.”
Zoom in on what you are working on and focus on the next small step. When you zoom in on an object with a camera, everything in the background either blurs or in nonexistent. Zoom in on what you need to do and do the next small step. So write down what the next small step is - and do that today.
I am currently writing an outline for the first 9 chapters of the book I am working on. Today I will finish that outline and outline the remainder of the book. I have chapters written already that will be molded to fit into what is new. They all work together. I am nearing the end.